When I'm Gone
by Homesick.Dreams
Summary: <html><head></head>"Will you miss me? When i'm gone?" MWPP Era.</html>


**_Summary: _**The summer before their last year at Hogwarts was supposed to be epic. Instead, it turned into a nightmare. After returning to school, it's clear that Ena Fortescue isn't the person she used to be and Lily Evans, along with the rest of her year, wants to know why. MWPP Era.

**_Disclaimer: _**Don't own HP and never will, sadly. Do however own Ena and any other OCs who decide to run rampage in the course of this fic.

**_A/N: _**Didn't want to write this story but the bunny just wouldn't stop hopping. Not the best fanfic in the world but hey, what's the harm in trying. Anyways, expect some teenagey-angst. Rating may change and if you feel it needs to, please let me know.

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><p><strong><em>Prologue: When You Were Young<em>**

"_It's not good."_

It's strange how some words can change your life forever. Two little words was all it took to end me. Well, if I'm honest, it wasn't _just_ those two words: my life had been self-destructing for months; those words just brought that fact to my attention.

Have you ever been told something by someone, where you don't want to believe them? Where you _can't_ believe them because if you do then everything has to change? When you convince yourself that they're lying, or joking, but somehow, deep inside of you you know that they're not?

My one of those moments came months ago. As the healer spoke, I didn't quite hear him. Or feel my dad's hand tighten around my own. The whole world just seemed to stop until I was the only thing left, the only thing still able to move, but stuck in a mind that was paralysed.

"_A year, maybe some months on top of that. It's hard to tell."_

When I was little, I had this friend. Her name was Jane and she was my very best friend. We used to play together, all the time until she moved away when I was seven. Our favourite game had always been the funeral one. Morbid thoughts for little kids to think about, I know. The fascination with death had started when Jane's grandmother died, the first ever funeral either of us had ever attended. Well, after it, we used to act out our own ones; where it would take place, who would come, what songs they would play.

I always wanted to know when I would die. At least, that was until I did find out.

It's not a nice feeling, knowing when you're going to die. It feels like someone stamped a use-by date across your body and there's nothing you can do to change it. Every day you live you know your one day closer to dying.

"_It's not the end of the world, Helena. There's still hope. Miracles happen all of the time." _

I don't see the hope that he talks about. A genetic fault, they call it, and there's nothing they can do to stop it.

I never believed in a God. It's not a common thing for wizards or witches to have faith in a higher being. Maybe it would be a good thing if they did. We have so many problems in our world, maybe some people could do with knowing that they're _not_ the most powerful beings.

The closer I get to dying, the more I regret never having believed in anything. I've heard that the muggles have all different kinds of gods and that they give them hope and courage on a daily basis. Well, all I need is one god to save me.

"_You're a __**healer**__. I thought you were supposed to be able to __**heal**__."_

This summer was supposed to be one of the best ones of my life. Instead it turned out to be the worst. I'm seventeen, I'm supposed to be young and happy and stupid. I'm supposed to sit my N.E. next year, to get a job and buy a house and meet someone and get married and have kids. I'm supposed to grow _old_.

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><p><strong><em>AN: _**First chapter or two are annoyingly descriptive, but that can't be helped folks. It gets better. At least i think it does.

Been a while since i wrote something in the first POV. Got any advice, complaints or compliments for me? Please let me know. There's a button down there that let's you do so. :)

Thank you for reading and i hope you come back for chapter 1. Until next time. :)

Ash


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